Friday, June 24, 2011

NZ Media asking for it.

Well, asking for a blog post.

It occurs to me that Tracey Barnett is a complete twit.


Her latest column at the Herald is titled "SlutWalk confuses rape message".

Ok, so first of all, it should be an anti-rape message. And no, SlutWalk isn't that hard to comprehend.

Rape myth:

If you dress like a slut, you'll get raped. Just by being out in town "dressed like a slut" (which is what, exactly? high heels? tight skirt? showing cleavage? spangles? a combination of the above?), you set yourself up as a target for rape.

Myth busted:

a) This is called victim blaming, and it is bullshit.
b) It doesn't matter what you wear if a man decides he will rape you.
c) Most women are raped in places they felt safe by men they thought they could trust. So there is no real correlation between being out on the town (while dressed like a slut) and being a rape survivor.
(Kudos to Scuba Nurse for reiterating that women who are raped are not victims)

So Tracey Barnett's column this week should be called "the media confuses SlutWalk anti-rape message".

Also, what the hell is a "proud non-slut"? Get off your high horse, Tracey. If you've slept with more than one man, that makes you a complete trollop in the eyes of Islam.

And one more thing:
"I could give a whore's thong over whether the word "slut" should be "reclaimed"."
Um, yeah, grammar fail (I could not care less, vs I could care less, same format), and sex worker prejudice in one fell swoop. Also, "queers" have "reclaimed" the "word" for "themselves", so "why not" "sluts" too? Patronizing much?

So yeah, the NZ Herald are a bunch of ninnies. Situation normal, then.

By contrast, the Dom Post has an article from Deborah Russell which spells out the reasons for SlutWalk perfectly. The comments look like a shitstorm though. Just a heads up.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

murder and victim blaming

Reading this article. Having a think as I go.

The name of the woman who was murdered was Marice McGregor. The man who is accused of killing her is named Dean Richard Mulligan.

"Murder victim met men for sex"

"Yesterday, the defence had three statements from NZDating users who arranged sexual encounters with Ms McGregor, to show she did not always keep the safest company."

Is having sex intrinsically unsafe for women? Or is it just if we arrange a hook up via the internet? Clearly all the other men she met didn't murder her. Just one.

Victim blaming seems to be the first port of call for defence lawyers. Stephen Ross is the defence lawyer for Mulligan...and he's full of shit. It shouldn't matter if Marice McGregor met a hundred men on the internet and cybered with them all. I think the defence, and by association, the media, is just trying to cook up some "slut-who-deserved-it" image of her.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

respect and love

What do you do when the people you love do and say things that you can't respect?

I've had a falling out with my godmother, because I called her on her racism and close-mindedness and she got in the last word by saying "I have lost all respect for you".

I can't help but think that...she didn't really know my thoughts well enough to respect them in the first place! I don't think she could be friends with the people that I am friends with, because she couldn't see them as equal to herself.

It's so hard to talk about the important things like gender and race privilege with someone who is set in their views...more so when they are someone you care about. Those arguments hurt!

But, I think that we probably do have to call people on their bullshit. Regardless of whether they are people we love, or people we love to hate.

I'm learning that my feminism involves sticking up for people. Telling people about privilege and trying to help them to see it and understand it.

I don't think I won the war last night. But I think I won a victory for myself, and my own ability to understand.